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Sheabie4Christ
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Name: Shea
Country: United States
State: Kentucky
Birthday: 10/20/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: i love Jesus, music, friends and family. i am a Phi Mu and love my sisters. i also love missions work, being able to be the hands of Christ is such a stinkin' blessing!!!
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  Sheabie4Christ
Member Since:
2/5/2005
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| Since it has been almost a month since my last post, i decided to post again. i am at home, hanging out with the family, seeing old friends, and generally having a good time, which means I am not doing the loads of work that needs to get done...typical. I have however, completed my independent study forms, and they are e-mailed to Dr. Wirzba, so thats one thing off the list, I was going to work on my spiritual autobiography....but i neglected to print it out OR save it to my e-mail and since I cannot access my school intranet from home....I'm goingt to have to start all over again!!! Which is frustrating, but- you'll have that. I am also trying to decide if I want Cody (my associate minister at Midway Baptist at school) or Dan ( my preacher at my home church) to write my letter for Candler, both are great guys, but the questions ask about my denominational affiliation to the church and.....i kinda need the methodist push...i hate chruch politics. Anyways, I have spent a little time at home alone this morning, I did a little thinking, and I discussed this somewhat with Tackett yesterday on the phone, but I have divorced myself from my heart, and I dont like it. I have neglected to be intentional with people, I allow myself to be distracted by the mundane, and I just feel like....nothing, I lack feeling. I still of course have passion, and not that I don't have joy, just that, maybe its not that I dont have feeling, just that I lack connection....I'm not entirely sure what I'm saying or whats going on...but I feel strange applying to Divinity school feeling this way, feel strange that I am going to minister at CP feeling this way, when I can't even identify how it is I'm feeling. I believe this is a time when words fail me, perhaps if I had Melinda's vocabulary a word would suffice, but I doubt it. Regardless, Jenna is coming to play and I am looking forward to some fellowship, perhaps a good swift kick in the butt, and some good ole' fashion fun. Pray that I find my motivation, for discernment as I seek to do Gods will when I feel so far from it, and for patience... | | |
| My heart aches for the countless people who I care about whose worlds are being torn apart, and I can do nothing to ease their pain. My heart is heavy, because I bear their burdens, even if they do not know it. My tears flow freely because I care so deeply and share the pain. I do not know, and I might not understand, but I care, and I love. | | |
| I haven't updated in a while...you'll have that, sorry! Life is good, and if you are wondering where I've been, its under a stack of Theological School applications, or under study guides for stupid general education classes..... yay liberal arts education! Anyways, I am feeling really burdened by finances, which is outlandish, because I am one of the wealthiest people on earth, but it doesnt make my 37000 in debt go away, and it doesnt put tires on my van, or pay the application fee on my seminary applications...so I'm whining about it. That always helps. I went hiking last Saturday with six friends, it was amazing, and I needed to get outside sooooooo bad, i loved every minute of it (excpet for the time I was boldering and found a loose rock...and almost died...) and I wish that I could tap into that feeling while siting in my room writing and rewriting resumes along with studying and worrying. On a happier and much less negative note, I am helping with youth group again at Midway, I'm not in charge, just leading a discipleship group. I'm very excited, it will be a great opprotunity to keep connected at church and continue to minister to youth throughout the year...also, I get $10 a week...its not much, but it IS enough for groceries for two weeks, which is all that really matters. Pray for my future, it is not the most important thing in the world, however, when I think about the future I get lost in a sea of opprotunity...and I drown in it. I just want to do the right thing to glorify God now, and for me to do so in the future....maybe I just need to get to working full time for a non-profit, but that wont exactly help pay down my debt too quickly will it??? LOL, ohhh well. I love school, my friends (happy belated Xanga b-day to Tackett) and all the people that have been put into my life because of georgetown college...(which includes most of you who read this post, directly or indirectly). I am overly tired right now so I believe that I will e-mail my professors and get to bed. Much love. | | |
| Random update on the life of yours truly: ~Mom gave me birthday money  ~Went to Orange Beach Alabama with the seniors in my Sorority, it was ah-mazing! ~Mom accidently put my money into my sisters account and I overdrew my checking account  ~Mom fixed error and paid over draft fines ~getting kicked off parentals health insurance plan b/c I'm turning 22  ~I kayaked with Dolphins in the wild (while at the beach)   ~my mini (van that is) caught fire on the way home from AL , but at least it waited until we got back to g-town! ~it caught fire only a few miles from a repair shop so it was towed and is fixed so I can go home this weekend! ~Today was seminary day, and my #1 school has changed, but there is a good possibility that I could go there for FREE!! ~Mom is getting me health insurance through one of her partners...its going to cost money, but I think my parents will pay until I graduate. (yay team!) ~I'm on a psychotic diet, and a bunch of herbs, but I haven't had a bad episode in over a week, so it might actually be working!!!! All in all, its been one heck of a week....but I can't deny God's awesome nature...and tomorrow is pay day!!! Yeah, I know, whose van catches on fire, who goes kyaking with dolphins in the wild, and who on earth decides its a good idea to not eat sugar, carbs, or dairy for three months...apparently me. Are we surprised? Not exactly... | | |
| I'm on a slippery slope...and i see it before me, i'm worried I'll fall far into it; yet, its just to easy to let happen. I've begun the ever unhelpful comparison and assuming game....comparing people to one another and myself, and assuming that others have everything worked out or even sometimes judging people...i dont really know who this person is, but I dont like her. I believe that I'm thinking this way because I've had too much time to think, to evaluate, and question. Not that none of these things are bad, but they hold dangerous potential at the same time. I'm not sure what got me here, perhaps its a combination of missing camp kids, wanting to hang out with my best friend who never has time free time(and is now in Brazil), wanting to plug into people but at the same time being afraid to talk to some people...its a little messy, but I also know a chunk of it has to do with another dear friend being in Korea...i miss melinda, i miss our conversations. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bad off, I'm actually quite joyous...I just need to continually remind myself that God, the Creator of the universe, has a part for me in this story, and it doesn't look like everyone elses part...which makes it extremely more difficult to understand. Speaking of understanding, this is something that I lack. I understand nothing, and am usually ok with it...but I'm getting frustrated with the fact that I've got questions oozing out of me, and my response is always getting stuck at a crossroads...good times good times. I should try being decisive sometime...or maybe not. How do you channel passion? Why do people settle for mediocrity? Why am I scared to be normal? Why do I want the things I want? What does God want? What does God not want? Whats important to God? What angers God? When does questioning become a problem? Why does my faith look so different than many others? Am I wrong, are they right? Does it matter what we disagree on? Shouldn't it only matter what we agree on?(this is my thought anyways...) and the list goes on and on...ohhhhh life, but I can honestly say...I'm happy to be able to question everything thats before me, even the things that frustrate me to tears. I praise the LORD that God gave me this mess of a mind...there is beauty to it some days... | | |
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